Voice in My Head
by TheSimpleWriterr
Summary: His mind was not his own. It was shared with the beast within. Tortured within his own mind unable to escape he never hoped or wished for salvation. Those pointless dreams leaving him long ago. For her… She wanted to be his salvation no matter what.


Summery: His mind was not his own. It was shared with the beast within. Tortured within his own mind unable to escape he never hoped or wished for salvation. Those pointless dreams leaving him long ago. For her… She wanted to be his salvation no matter what.

'**Bold' **\- Kyuubi talking

Chapter One: Familiar Cracks.

_To him it's always been like this. This consistent hostile voice, that has possessed his head. Feeding him insults about himself, feeding him consistent lies and reminding him that no matter what he does to escape… He can't. Although he likes to imagine a time when there was no voice. A time when he was able to hear the winds strongly blowing through the sky and the already orange autumn trees leaves. He imagines dark hair fluttering and swirling all around his view of a perfect bright blue sky when he looks up. Even though the hair skews his view of the sky it doesn't bother him. He could hear the wind picking up more strength as it howls around him. The wind, it's all he hears his mind is blank and silent. There are no dark comments, no insults. Nothing but silence and the feel of a smile plastered around his small child face._

'**Useless.'** a familiar deep voice mutters.

Naruto's eyes slowly inches open and he stares up at his cracked ceiling unmoving. His once bright blue eyes have dulled over the years. The familiar sound of the insult rings in his head as his mind starts to clear up from its slumber. The insults stopped bothering him years ago, and it was just something he always woke up to. Something he was familiar with and something he loathed.

'**Why dream of useless things.'** The voice sneered at him.

Naruto hated how they shared his mind together. No matter what Naruto did their thoughts and memories have always been one for as long as he could remember. He could not have a single thing to himself. It was always shared with that voice. That also meant that the voice could share things with him. Feed him memories, visions, feelings, and thoughts. It could feed him lies to further madden his already brittle mind.

Naruto threw the covers away from his body, the heat he produced made him sweat like a pig and he could feel the stickiness of the sheets as they peeled off of him. He threw his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up, ready to wash away the sweat.

'**Why not dream of how warm blood would feel against your skin after I take control and rip apart your dear friends.'** the dreadful voice echoed in his head.

Naruto saw flashes of blood splattered around himself as the bodies of his co-workers littered a concrete floor surrounding him. His hands and fingers shook as the very real scent of blood filtered into his nostrils and the warm liquid of violent red coated his fingers. He frantically grabbed on to his nightstand and steadied himself. The grogginess of sleep and the overwhelming strength of the horrid visions almost made him kneel on the floor. He wasn't prepared for it, and he hated the voice for having this effect on him.

'**Weak and useless.'** The beast taunted him before it began to laugh at him.

He ignored the laughs that bounced around his skull. Naruto pushed the nightstand to the ground in frustration before heading over to the bathroom. He quickly turned the knob to the shower on full blast with ice cold water pouring out of it. The voiced hated the cold. It's the only reason he continued to live here in the simple Konoha Village that he despised. The winters here could sometimes be rough, and that almost seemed to weaken the voice. Made it go into hibernation frequently for at least 10 minutes it felt like, giving Naruto his small peace.

The beastly voiced continued to laugh mockingly at Naruto's helpless misery, and Naruto angrily stuck his hand under the cold water that poured down from the shower head. He shivered uncontrollably as the water hit his skin and at the same time the laugh seemed to come to a stop.

'**That's too cold human.'** the voice announced to him.

Naruto smirked at that. Naruto always guessed the intense heat that radiated from his body came from the vicious beast from within. He was always glad to learn that even if there was no snow to dive himself into a cold shower always did the trick in silence him for a short while.

'**I said it was too cold.'** the voice said with a booming authority challenging Naruto.

He began to peel off his oversized shirt blatantly ignoring the agitated voice. Visions of red flashed through his mind as the old images of bodies surrounding him seemed to inevitably come to surface. It was a desperate struggle to take off his shirt as the visions play strongly through his mind. He could feel his back hit the bathroom door and the room seemed to swirl around him as reality and his disordered mind seemed to blend in a horrific harmony.

He stared at the shower that offered him sweet sanctuary for the time being and slowly made his way over, unconsciously making big steps to avoid stepping on dismembered bodies that weren't really there. The water he saw with his dull eyes paused and sputtered out red liquid Naruto could only assume was blood. His mind continued to fight between the gruesome images the voice was forcing into his head and the reality that it was all a lie. By the time he made it to a tub, he still had his boxers on, however, he ignored that detail and forced his head under the shower head.

He let out a small groan of pain as the freezing water hit his head like icicles. The hallucinations stopped and his mind was buzzing from the sudden change. He forced the rest of his body into the tub even when his body's reaction was to coil away from the cold. He hated it too, but it was the only short sweet silence he got. He showered in cold lonely silence.

After he was showered and dressed Naruto stood in his apartments small kitchen. The sound of his walk clock ticking off in the distance almost lulled him back to sleep. Naruto reached inside a cupboard and grabbed a pan, lazily filling up it with water before placing it on his stove. He turned it on the highest setting hoping to quickly heat up the water so he could eat some ramen. His stomach rumbled in response to the image of his favorite food filling him up.

He glanced at his clock thankful he had enough time to eat before work. Usually, he was always in a rush skipping breakfast to make it to work on time. He grabbed a nearby ramen cup and frowned as he stared at the empty cup. He glanced around his small kitchen and winced at the mess around him. He never had enough focus to clean, with the parasite always throwing images and insults his way.

His home probably looked like a tornado ran through it more than once. He tossed the empty ramen cup into his overflowing trash and it fell to the ground. Rolling under the fridge which Naruto could only guess held even more things under he could not remember. Eventually, he'll clean. Maybe naked in winter with all his windows open after a freezing shower. He grabbed an unused ramen cup and poured the boiling water into it.

A faint buzz entered his head and he knew the beast was back.

'**I'll give you hellish nightmares tonight little boy.'** Naruto scoffed at this and took the ramen to the table, sitting down before he began to eat.

"It's not like you don't." Naruto replied bitterly after he finished slurping up some noodles.

'**I'll make it worse.'** he quickly retorted.

Naruto wasn't sure how the nightmares he's been giving could get any worse, but every time the voice managed to top himself in making his miserable life even more of a complete hell. He just didn't doubt it. Naruto shook his head wanting to leave that pain for later tonight and continue slurping his noodles. His mouth stopped chewing as the texture and taste made him spit it out in disgust. He looked down at his food and noticed they were thin and almost pulsing like tiny veins as it seemed to squirt blood from its holes on either side that were void of any hosts.

He wasn't prepared for the raw image and immediately threw the cup against the wall and watched as it slowly slid down his wall. It wasn't real and he knew it, but sometimes he just couldn't tell anymore. It laughed at him again, and Naruto stood up kicking his chair away from him in helpless anger. There was nothing he could do. This was his life.

Naruto rushed to the door putting on his shoes. And the voice continued to laugh at him amused at his latest trick and its effect on him.

"Shut up!" Naruto yelled into the silence of his own home clutching his head as the uncontrollable laughter grew louder.

He yanked his door open stepping into the cold air not bothering to grab a jacket. He locked his door in a haste and turned to make his way to work. Before he even took a step forward the voice was always taunting him mocking him with laughter and insults. Flashing images of his meal running down the wall from his antics.

"Fuck! Leave me alone!" Naruto shouted once again, this time into the open air.

A startled jump caught his attention from the corner of his eyes. Naruto tilted his head to the side annoyed of having an open argument with the beast into the outside world. His eyes made contact with a pair of lavender eyes staring up at him in shock from his outburst. He wanted to apologize and correct any misunderstanding, however, he stood there staring into her eyes in uncomfortable silence.

"I-" was all the sound Naruto heard escape her lips before he walked passed her.

"I'm going to be late for work." Naruto muttered.

He didn't feel enough regret to leave an explanation. The beast in him seemed to find everything amusing and continued it's booming laughter in his head.

**A/N: **Hello, and welcome to my story. I'm just a simple writer who decided to practice my writing skills on some fanfiction. This chapter probably isn't the cleanest since my writing skills are like high school rusty. (_More like elementary school._) So, I wouldn't mind getting help editing if you really enjoyed it and want to see more. I also say this because I'm extremely lazy and need a push. (_Lazy writer? Go figure_.) I hope you enjoyed it. I plan on writing more darker tone stories like this I guess. Anyway, enjoy your day folks!


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